Anonymous asked: Where did you get the courage to come out? Because it really inspired me!

Hmm, I’m not sure, it was just overdue. Thanks though; good luck :)

Anonymous asked: hey, i just read your poem manufactored. and its amazing. like wow. it really blew my mind. thankyou for being so inspiring :)

gee thanks! :)

When I said

I wanted to write you a poem

You didn’t understand

I don’t like flowers

Beneath the anchors of my hair

A storm advances

Dominating

Tangled willows

Rivers of crabgrass

A cabin on a hill

Three pairs of hiking boots

Mud crisping in this ambient oven

We both marveled at the thunderclouds

Now speak to me of your distaste

For I see beauty and confidence as pure and enticing as fresh fruit

I reached for it

Held it close to my lips

Which gasped

As the rain fell

And the wind blew away the shoes

Still I looked to the sky

Fell in love

And knew why

Then I looked down at you

Fell apart

And looked up

I wish the ground were always solid

Because I always seem to fall

And I wonder

If I stood up slowly

Would my legs still shake?

I realized I had to write you a poem

The day I stopped believing in flowers 

Nine steps from my desk to yours

I counted

Mapping them out with

My eyes

I counted the steps

Every morning as I slipped through the door

And hurried to my seat

I would pause at your chair

And breathe

One

And I was three feet away

I could turn back

But first I needed words

Words, like pencils, had a habit of escaping me when I most needed them

Two

They would fine me when I didn’t need them

Whisper to me

Write me

And I was a submissive child

Always a submissive child

Three

So I took my heavy pen

And clicked it thrice

Crafting a wilted doorstep

And the words dropped their heads and rushed through the threshold

You’re welcome

Four

When people cross the lines, they are given second chances

When ink crosses the lines, there is nothing to forgive it

No father to say, darling, next time, stick to the pen

I only need one chance

Five

A page flips over

Like a turtle, born onto its back

And a staple hits the corner

Here is your home

You can live there now

Staplers are submissive also

Six

Crumpled neatly

Thrown into expectation

The words I released sit on the edges of the paper

Tapping their feet

And I am scared they will get up and leave

And I will be left alone with my lines

Boundaries and me

Seven

Words against my back

I walk to my grave

Hoping for a rebirth

These words will kill me

Or they will save me

But they will not leave me

For they are my directions

And they guide me where they wish

Eight

You will love me

And we will be a family

And our children will be small and fragile

And they will fall down

But always get back up again

And they will learn that from both of us

The falling from me

The getting up from you

Together, we make a star

I drop from great heights

And you always shine

Nine

Hi?

What do I want?

Um, nothing.

Everything.

I should have known all along

It wasn’t me who had the courage

It was the words

No, I never crossed the lines

Paper is too strong for me

And ink is too thick for me

And love is too pure for me

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Five.

You’re only five steps away

If I walk fast enough

Four if I jump

Three if I dive

I wish I had learned to fly

Words tumble from the absence in my chest

Pouring into my stomach

Swimming like sick maggots

And they ask me to write them

And so I do

And they ask me to mean them

And so I do

And they ask me to believe them

And so I do

I was always a submissive child

But they ask me to share them

And though my selfless heart wants nothing more

I know I cannot

I have already tread too far down that line

At the end, there was no ink-scratched arrow

Only a solid dot

And a pair of broken wings

We live in a world of factories

Where people are born from assembly lines

And every woman should have breasts and ever man should have a beard

And every villain should have an ego and every hero should have a dog

Step four is love, and you’ll be damned if that man called in sick to work

Welcome to your life; happiness not guaranteed

Rusted claws distribute brain cells, thousands at a time

‘Plop’

And every girl shall fall in lust and every boy shall break her heart

And every fighter shall succeed and every soldier shall be honored

Step eighteen is the legs

Stolen from the Barbie machine

Enlarged by GMOs and strengthened with calcium supplements

Used syringes bedeck the floor

And everyone from this line will be a drug-dealer and everyone from that line will be a teacher

And everyone who laughs will be rewarded and everyone who cries will be dumped onto a table and shipped in a box labeled ‘factory seconds’

Nobody loves a monster

Room twenty-nine B contains freezers of authority and work ethic

And the boss points to everyone with a penis

And declares ‘apply liberally’

And it is done

And the boss points to everyone without chest hair

And declares ‘en voz alta’ porque tiene el poder para hacerlo

And every child should listen carefully and every worker should be obedient

And every black man shall be pitied and every faggot shall be shunned

And somewhere, tucked in the flat expanse between rib cage and hips, is the knowledge that we all want it this way

It’s that eminent gap between our ears

It screams to us

Breathe, step, breathe, step, laugh, eat, grow

And so we breathe, step, breathe, step

We laugh

We eat

We grow

And every adolescent girl shall be 5’5” with C cup bras and size 3 pants

And every pubescent boy shall want sex above everything else because

Well

‘Hello?…

I just called to say that I want a refund’

‘Please hold; your call is being transferred to a qualified employee’

‘Click’

Fourteen boxes to Chicago tonight

Dropped off in a basket

And attached to the label

In thin black font

Are the words ‘made by society’

So I wrote this song in 45 minutes after a rough night and then recorded it in 2 hours on my outdated version of GarageBand, and it came out fine so I thought I’d post it. However, tumblr decided it didn’t like that idea, and rejected my mp3. So instead, here are the lyrics:

Call it a disaster

I forgot to call at all

And when I hear your voice

I throw my hand against the wall

Tears on your lips

And I wish that they were mine

You choke out a hello

You say you’re doing fine

When we fight

My world spins faster

Turning away

From forever after

I get dizzy

I fall down

As the visions

Whirl around

But once again I find that I’m just

Falling for you

I know better than to hurt you

I know better than to cry

But when I’m screaming at the world

It doesn’t matter why

It’s like if I yell loud enough

I’ll drown out all the pain

And we’ll dance across the pavement

As the sun shines through the rain

When we fight

My world spins faster

Turning away

From forever after

I get dizzy

I fall down

As the visions

Whirl around

But once again I find that I’m just

Falling for you

My anger isn’t me it’s just something I can’t tame

But I know that you can darling all you have to do

Is say my name

When we fight

My world spins faster

Turning away

From forever after

I get dizzy

I fall down

As the visions

Whirl around

But once again I find that I’m….

When we fight

My world spins faster

Turning away

From forever after

I get dizzy

I fall down

As the visions

Whirl around

But once again I find that I’m just

Falling for you

Allow me to reflect on the philosophy of good

I ask you, what is good?

Is it sugar?

Or is it a complex idea that can be attributed only to things, which are capable of earning such a title?

There are times of sweetness, yes.

But each time of candy is coated by one of waves so it dissolves and we are left with a quiet ocean

Which in truth is nothing, for the ocean always speaks

Yes the ocean speaks to me

It tells me ‘Child, you are small’ and to the ocean I say ‘only because you are so big’ and it tells me ‘no child, you are tiny’ and to the ocean I say ‘and how?’

And it tells me ‘child, you need to grow’

So for the ocean I write this poem

Detailing my progress in a world where I am one and everyone else is another and we all fail to stand out because when a life is compared to a life it is still a life

The way you determine the worth of a life is by how many lives that life has changed

Slow down

Stay with me

I shrink under words I do not understand so to the ocean I say ‘teach me of goodness’ and it tickles my toes and coos like a mother and says ‘child, goodness is everywhere’

And to the ocean I ask ‘and how?’

And it tells me ‘child, you need to grow’

So for the ocean I tell you all that goodness hides under every corner and in every life and I know the because the ocean knows this

Yes, the ocean knows this, because the ocean is also everywhere

In our words we carry the whispers of maritime winds

In our thoughts we hold the rushing of blackened tides

And with our hands we spread the salt, yes we spread it across the world

But still the world is not perfect

So I go to the ocean and I sit

And I scream to the ocean

‘Tell me of better times’

And the ocean breathes

But it will not speak to me

And so for the ocean I ask that we learn to be grateful

For each life that has changed us

And each life that we have yet to change

So that each of us in turn may be recognized by the world’s most modest honor

Yes I beg the ocean for guidance

So the two of us together,

The ocean and I,

Can teach the world to be good. 

Never have I leaned into the beyond and smelled eagerly

Desperate to find this gruesome heaven

For in your most tragic wood are things which loathe me

Things, which I cannot remove because they are too quick

And your confused look will angrily un-ignite me

For I have burned too long

You play me card for card

Following me through my nightmares

Making sure my tears are saved for you

Yet hungrily we create question after question

For we cannot cease to know what we will never answer

If we have never known it to start with

Consuming what we desire, we are vicious

Fluid tulips leak into the streets: long lost lovers

I crave to escape as they have, away from this forest

Away from these empty barrels

Away from the stench of whiskey and regret

Away from you

Yet as I defenestrate my hopes and my mind

You save me

And yet again you un-ignite me

Fire slides clean off my skin, never to taste me

Your dry mouth burns rough on my lips

Is this medicine?

Force me to be the one who follows

Relieve me of this confusion

As I swallow my hell to find your heaven

As I wander through this devastated forest

For in your most tragic wood are things which loathe me

Things, which I cannot remove because they are too quick

These things, I call love

eagerly i have never smell, desperately beyond
any doctor, your heaven have their gruesome:
in your most tragic wood are things which loathe me,
or which i cannot remove because they are too quickly

your confused look angrily will unignite me
though i have wipe myself as hanging lights,
you play always picture frame by picture frame myself as wall chat
(createing hungrilly , profusely) her questionable instrument

or if your father be to cease me, i and
my wart will consume very frigidly, viciously,
as when the tulip of this doctor fear
the redneck fluidly everywhere escapeing;

nothing which we are to defenestrate in this femur cry
the icebox of your dry TV remote: whose medicine cabinet
amble me with the happiness of its bunion,
forceing friend and Mississippi with each slaming

(i do not take what it is about you that swallow
and confuse; only something in me compare
the bottle of your heaven is pasty than all wall)
alcohol, not even the cherry, has such prime fruit

- Lex & e.e. cummings

Anonymous asked: Hi. I dont know if this will show up to the public or something....
I just wanted to say that I'm a fan. Keep writing!

Hey! I really appreciate your support and of course I will continue to write! Thank you… -Lex